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well fuck...


so, tons has changed since i last posted...

im in college now. thats... interesting.
not loving it exactly.

i dunno, i reallllllllly want to go to a different school either this coming fall or next spring or something.
glendale community college is not really that great :/

im hoping to end up at nau but we shall see.

i guess i dont really have anything to say.. sorry?

Thank god for music/shows. :]

:D Here's the show's I'll be at, lets chill if you're gonna be there too...

2/5 - Capital Lights @ Arizona Community Church[Didn't go]
2/6 - Escape The Fate & Attack Attack @ Marquee Theater
[Didn't go]
2/19 - School Boy Humor @ The PHiX Gallary [Was Amazing!]
2/23 - Matt Wertz @ The Rhythm Room
[Didn't go]
3/11 - Cute Is What We Aim For & Breath Carolina @ Marquee Theater [Didn't go]
3/24 - The Maine & 3OH!3 @ Marquee Theater [Didn't go]
3/26 - Alesana & Drop Dead Gorgeous @ Marquee Theater [Didn't go]
4/2 - Nevershoutnever! w/ Mike Goodrick @ The Clubhouse [Amazing! NSN Was SO Good!]
4/3 - Fall Out Boy, Cobra Starship, Metro Station & All Time Low @ Mesa Amphitheater [BEST FOB show EVER]
4/4 - Confide, Nearest The Positive & The Kings Divide @ Badlands in Mesa
4/5 - Blessthefall @ Marquee Theater
4/25 - A Day To Remember & The Devil Wears Prada @ Marquee Theatre [FML! PROM IS THE SAME NIGHT!]
5/21 - Taylor Swift @ Jobing.com Arena
6/30 - Warped Tour @ Cricket Pavilion
7/17 - Marilyn Manson @ Cricket Pavilion
8/11 - Jonas Brothers w/ Jordin Sparks and Honor Society @ Jobing.com Arena

I'll add to this as things come along...


I Promise [Famous Last Words]


I Promise [Famous Last Words]

I promise that I’m different, I’ve really changed this time.
I promise it wont hurt baby, I’ll make it worth your while.
I promise I wont tell anyone, your secrets safe with me.
I promise I wont talk to her anymore, she doesn’t mean a thing.

A lot of good those promises did me.
Read more...Collapse )
I got up at 5:30 today. :|
Tomorrow I have to be at school at 6AM!!!!!!! Can you believe that? Ugh, all for the one-act, Nora's Lost. [Look it up, it's quite interesting, but totally confusing, I'm Death!]

I'm hopefully going to be getting my license soon. Well, my permit at least. I need a job really bad, but i just have no desire to DO anything right now. It's not that I dont want to, persay, its just that I feel like I lack the ability to do anything. So I just end up sitting around my house, or I go shopping, or to a show.
And nothing is making me happy anymore, like, TRULY giddy happy.

I just want to be fixed already...

Told you I suck at this...

I get distracted too easily. I've also been sick for about a week now and it SUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS.
Recap of recent events that I remember:
Jonas Live Chat - EPIC! Some people say it was a let-down, or a giant commercial. Regardless, they took time out of their day to do this for us, be a little more grateful please. But I did notice that Joe seems to be in need of a hugfest. Lemme be the first to volunteer. :]
Obama's Inauguration - Well, honestly, I don't really have an opinion on this. Except that his Daughters have wicked awesome taste in music. :]
BTF - In general, Blessthefall has been amazing. I saw them live again last Saturday and it was probably one of the best shows I've ever been to. [And DEFFFFF the best BTF show I've been to. Also saying alot considering I've seen them probably more than 50 times.] If you know me in real life, you know this is saying a lot because I go to so many shows.

So yeah, thats basically all the interesting stuff that's happened lately.

I've compiled a list of shows that I'll be going to, so if you're gonna be at the same one, we'll chill:
Escape The Fate & Attack Attack - February 6th - Marquee Theatre - Tempe, Az
School Boy Humor - February 19th - The PHIX - Downtown Phoenix, Az
Fall Out Boy, ATL, Cobra & Metro Station - March 3rd - Mesa Amphitheatre - Mesa, Az
CIWWAF & Breath Carolina - March 11th - Marquee Theatre - Tempe, Az
The Maine & 3OH!3 - March 24th - Marquee Theatre - Tempe, Az
The Devil Wears Prada & A Day To Remember - April 25th - Marquee Theatre - Tempe, Az

That's not including all the local/smaller shows I'll go to, but yeah. Hit me up if you'll be at any of those. :]

I'm the star that only wanted to be heard,
but liked to share the glory...

Dear Star, I hope you crash and burn.

i dont know where its from, so dont bother asking,
i read it in a story so maybe its the authors original?
if you know where it's from please let me know in a comment. :]

They were only available for a short time in like, the late 90's or something, but they were awesome.
Anyway, if you remember them, I currently smell like the lavender scented crayons. Weird right? I don't even know why I smell like that...

Oddly enough, it's calming. Its one of those scents that reminds me of my childhood. Weeks in Minnesota in the summer, red jello, watermelon at the neighbors house, the tinkle rock[because that sounds a more politically/grammatically correct than 'the pee rock'], burying the spice girls and dinosaurs in the sand box and never finding them again, even after we dug a foot down into the indian clay[oh dude, INDIAN CLAY!!!!!], JACOB FOCACCIA-BREAD, getting married to Coby [LOL], trying to sell Luke at the garage sale, sandbox gourmet[aka cooking 'shows' in the backyard sandbox], . Little things seem to trigger the fondest of memories.

Wow, now you got me all reminiscient. All because of a dumb scented crayon.

Funny how life works, huh?

I suck at live-journal-ing

I always mean to write stuff in here, but i never actually get around to it. fuck proper grammar right now, it's the last of my worries.

its happening again. the need to sleep an ungodly amount, no desire to eat, no desire to go anywhere, no desire to live. im always physically hurting in some way, but the physical pain is not nearly as bad as the excruciating emotional pain im in right now. i did it again. i let him trick me into thinking that he'd changed. sure it was only a day that i had let him back in, but still. i should have known better.
i should have known he still had a hold on me.

even after all of the drama and bullshit, he' still controlling me. his voice still echoes int he back of my mind, with everything i do. even as im writing this now.

i want nothing more than to prove him wrong. to prove to him that i CAN do it. i can get out of here. i can live my dreams. that i can free myself from his chains.

i just dont know how to...

It's Halloween! :D

Here I am, sitting, waiting to go to a party. DonDon's party!

Little update:
I got a puppy for my birthday, well I got her before my birthday, but still... She's Pomeranian, her name is Ludo. Like Ludo from Labyrinth, not Ludo the band.

She's cute and fluffy and little and I love her. :]

Ahh, gotta go to the party! I'll write more tomorrow! :D


school starts up again in 2 days.


that is all for now.